The struggle for faith. Against the Masons

From my youth, I tried to work for the Lord God and keep His holy commandments: I tried to study all the wisdom of philosophical, oratory and human science, so that God and the king faithfully serve. But as if the fuss and to save the unequal (this wisdom) despised, and sought the wisdom of God, and the fear of God believed the beginning of God, I learned in the law of God the day and night, as much as I could find, I read the books of all the holy fathers and teachers of the Church carefully And I tried in every possible way to live reverely and righteously, fulfilling everything with word and deed, which God requires from me, as a Christian, monk and priest, the minister of the Church according to the law, according to conscience, by the oath. For eight years, fasting and praying and in every possible way gravitating my Lord, I, despising the fear of people, slander and scolding, had in mind the oath to serve God and the king correctly, by truth, and in these years I fought with secret societies, heretics and carbonarians