Your boundaries. How to maintain personal space and find inner freedom. NEON Pocketbooks
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If you want to live your own, and not someone else"s life, you want your needs to be satisfied, and relationships with people develop, you must learn to set borders.
Many neglect the boundaries of fear that others will cease to love and accept us if we draw a line. We are terribly afraid to proclaim or upset others. We are afraid that we will be abandoned and we will remain alone. We believe that taking care of ourselves, we act as egoists. Therefore, we sacrifice ourselves, supporting the "thin world": a false feeling of harmony. This book is that in fact the boundaries do not always lead to conflict.
It is that you have the right to borders regardless of what others want from you, and these boundaries can run anywhere. You can compromise, you can arrange negotiations, but you should not refuse the most important principles.
Those who are used to pleasing, got rid of the role of the Savior, a benefactor and a resolver of other people"s problems, the very thought of putting himself in the first place seems to be radical. But truth, close trusting relationships, freedom - all this will open to you only when you put your desires in the first place, discarding fears and doubts. After reading this book, you will learn how to do it.
For whom the book:
For those who want to build personal boundaries and start putting their needs in the first place.
For those who put other people"s desires and needs above their own and want to correct this situation.
For those who are in co -dependent relationships.
From the author:
For more than ten years, I worked as a curator of events in the publishing house Hay House and saw in the publishing environment as a person who can curtail the mountains. One of my feats clearly illustrates what I mean. Once I organized two events in a row with the participation of the author of the bestsellers, Dr. Wayne Dyer. On Saturday evening, he performed in Atlanta. Then we flew to Detroit, where he was supposed to perform on Sunday evening.
Late on Saturday night, Wayne, in a panic, called me in the room in Detroit and said: "I can’t find a briefcase! It seems that I lost it somewhere along the way from Atlanta. " There were all the materials for the lecture in the portfolio, and he insisted that he could not perform without him.
Here, in me, myself, the universal savior and super -woman, whom I imagined myself, turned on. I remembered that in a minibus on the way to Atlanta Airport the portfolio was with him, and called the car rental company. At first they said that they did not have a portfolio, but I begged them to check again, and indeed, the portfolio was under the seat. But by that time it was almost twelve.
I called Wayne. “Go to bed and don"t worry about anything,” I said. “I will figure out how to return the portfolio on time.”
I asked the car company to put someone on a plane before Detroit with a portfolio, but they, of course, replied that they could not. Then I began to look for a delivery service, but in vain: no one worked at almost midnight on Saturday evening.
I could not fall asleep. At four in the morning I got in a taxi and on the way to the airport bought a ticket for the first flight that came across and back to Atlanta. When the plane landed, I ran out and met with a driver from a car rental company at the luggage tape. With a briefcase in my hand, I turned and went through control in order to catch a return flight to Detroit. At the control, I was detained and subjected to severe interrogation. Why do I travel with one briefcase? Why flew in and immediately flew to the same city? All this must have looked very suspicious. Who flies back and forth to pick up the briefcase?
Wayne just woke up when I sat on the plane to Detroit. I called him before taking off and reported that I had a portfolio.
- Nancy, I hope you have not committed any stupidity?
I managed to a lecture in Detroit a couple of minutes before Wayne arrived. TA-dah! So, it was not for nothing that I was considered a super -woman! My relief could not limit.
Then such heroes were a completely ordinary business for me. The case of the portfolio was one of many "nonsense" that I committed to earn incentive stars in all in my life. At the same time, I usually did not even remember my own needs. I constantly allowed people to trample their boundaries, sweep them and neglect them.
The situation with the borders in my marriage was especially bad. But when you deny your needs for many years, the moment comes when they make themselves felt in another way. "Crawl out" in the most unexpected places. In my case, treason was in this "in another way" - thus, my needs “shouted” that they should finally pay attention to them and stop putting up with a constant violation of the boundaries
Many neglect the boundaries of fear that others will cease to love and accept us if we draw a line. We are terribly afraid to proclaim or upset others. We are afraid that we will be abandoned and we will remain alone. We believe that taking care of ourselves, we act as egoists. Therefore, we sacrifice ourselves, supporting the "thin world": a false feeling of harmony. This book is that in fact the boundaries do not always lead to conflict.
It is that you have the right to borders regardless of what others want from you, and these boundaries can run anywhere. You can compromise, you can arrange negotiations, but you should not refuse the most important principles.
Those who are used to pleasing, got rid of the role of the Savior, a benefactor and a resolver of other people"s problems, the very thought of putting himself in the first place seems to be radical. But truth, close trusting relationships, freedom - all this will open to you only when you put your desires in the first place, discarding fears and doubts. After reading this book, you will learn how to do it.
For whom the book:
For those who want to build personal boundaries and start putting their needs in the first place.
For those who put other people"s desires and needs above their own and want to correct this situation.
For those who are in co -dependent relationships.
From the author:
For more than ten years, I worked as a curator of events in the publishing house Hay House and saw in the publishing environment as a person who can curtail the mountains. One of my feats clearly illustrates what I mean. Once I organized two events in a row with the participation of the author of the bestsellers, Dr. Wayne Dyer. On Saturday evening, he performed in Atlanta. Then we flew to Detroit, where he was supposed to perform on Sunday evening.
Late on Saturday night, Wayne, in a panic, called me in the room in Detroit and said: "I can’t find a briefcase! It seems that I lost it somewhere along the way from Atlanta. " There were all the materials for the lecture in the portfolio, and he insisted that he could not perform without him.
Here, in me, myself, the universal savior and super -woman, whom I imagined myself, turned on. I remembered that in a minibus on the way to Atlanta Airport the portfolio was with him, and called the car rental company. At first they said that they did not have a portfolio, but I begged them to check again, and indeed, the portfolio was under the seat. But by that time it was almost twelve.
I called Wayne. “Go to bed and don"t worry about anything,” I said. “I will figure out how to return the portfolio on time.”
I asked the car company to put someone on a plane before Detroit with a portfolio, but they, of course, replied that they could not. Then I began to look for a delivery service, but in vain: no one worked at almost midnight on Saturday evening.
I could not fall asleep. At four in the morning I got in a taxi and on the way to the airport bought a ticket for the first flight that came across and back to Atlanta. When the plane landed, I ran out and met with a driver from a car rental company at the luggage tape. With a briefcase in my hand, I turned and went through control in order to catch a return flight to Detroit. At the control, I was detained and subjected to severe interrogation. Why do I travel with one briefcase? Why flew in and immediately flew to the same city? All this must have looked very suspicious. Who flies back and forth to pick up the briefcase?
Wayne just woke up when I sat on the plane to Detroit. I called him before taking off and reported that I had a portfolio.
- Nancy, I hope you have not committed any stupidity?
I managed to a lecture in Detroit a couple of minutes before Wayne arrived. TA-dah! So, it was not for nothing that I was considered a super -woman! My relief could not limit.
Then such heroes were a completely ordinary business for me. The case of the portfolio was one of many "nonsense" that I committed to earn incentive stars in all in my life. At the same time, I usually did not even remember my own needs. I constantly allowed people to trample their boundaries, sweep them and neglect them.
The situation with the borders in my marriage was especially bad. But when you deny your needs for many years, the moment comes when they make themselves felt in another way. "Crawl out" in the most unexpected places. In my case, treason was in this "in another way" - thus, my needs “shouted” that they should finally pay attention to them and stop putting up with a constant violation of the boundaries
Author:
Author:Левин Нэнси
Cover:
Cover:Soft
Category:
- Category:Politics & Social Science
- Category:Psychology
- Category:Reference books
- Category:Motivation & Success
Publication language:
Publication Language:Russian
Paper:
Paper:newspaper
Age restrictions:
Age restrictions:16+
ISBN:
ISBN:978-5-00195-879-6
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